Reflection on Mother's Day 2019

This year Mother’s Day is different, I’m a new Grandmother. After the death of my Mother 46 years ago, the feminine line in my family is once again complete with the birth of my Granddaughter. We are once again Grandmother, Mother and Daughter.

The arrival of Lily has opened up deeper reflections personally and professionally in how parental loss can be experienced over a lifetime. Watching her enter the world, supporting my Daughter in labour and the early days of motherhood made me think about my own experience when I became a mother nearly 30 years ago. I was profoundly struck when I sat in the post-natal ward with my Daughter “how did I do this”? At 55 years old I was reminded of the loss of my mother again, yet I was filled with the joy of this beautiful new being and the strength of my Daughter. I have a firm belief in the path of healing, this is not to deny our pain but to hold it well enough alongside our happiness in life, this was yet another experience to provide me with more understanding and guidance. In my psychotherapy practice I am struck on a daily basis with the resilience and resources of my clients, their courage to find a way to live more deeply despite their stories. I consider Brant Cortright’s words in his book Psychotherapy and Spirit “our actions, joys and sorrows have significance in our growth”. And so it continues……….

On Mother’s Day this year I intend to live it for what it symbolises. I will remember my own Mother with love, and whilst she and I missed out on many life experiences together, I will celebrate my own life as a Mother and now Grandmother.

Lily has already given me a gift beyond what she will ever know, to understand myself more, to acknowledge another layer of pain that was hidden and the potential to make memories that heal my soul. Sometimes love highlights our losses, and sometimes losses highlight our love, this is the journey of life.